Blogger's Block!!

I'm suffering from blogger's block! It isn't that there isn't anything to say, it's that there's too much to say and I don't know where to start or how to say it all so I'm going to throw it down here, press 'publish' then move on....... please indulge me!

My brother and sister-in-law were over from Canada for three weeks over Christmas and New Year with my nephew who is one at the end of this month. I so loved seeing them but it was hard too, I always feel so bereft when they leave and I worry about them. They have lots going on. My sister-in-law (oh stuff it, lets just call her my sister) has to go back to work soon and that means that my nephew has to go to daycare. I remember very vividly how tortured I felt when I had to return to work after Eve was born and I feel her pain. They also have to face moving this year when they really wanted another year where they are to help my brother become established as a paramedic before having to start over somewhere new. That somewhere new means selling and buying a house, leaving friends and starting from scratch, stressful stuff. Stuff that me and my husband can make choices about, stuff that my sister can't make choices about because she's in the air force. Great job, great security, not great for stability and making your own choices. There..... worries down on paper, feeling lighter already. I'm here for you both if you want to chat about all that 'stuff' y'all! I'll e-mail you guys back now I'm not tied up in knots anymore!!

Then there was New Year.... usually I get that buzz before New Year and am itching to start afresh on new things and implement new ideas but we were supposed to be moving house in mid January so I made myself wait. I thought it would be silly to start new things just before upheaval. Hmmmm, well that's all off now and I feel a bit left of centre now, like I missed the last train or something?? Not to mention that we started packing and there are now things in boxes that we need back out now that we are staying. On a bright note we got rid of a bit more clutter whilst doing it!!! I need something to pin my mind on though now, a target and there isn't an obvious one there! Any suggestions?!

And then there are the illnesses - Idris with bronchiolitis over Christmas, sleep deprivation anyone? Faith with a torn tendon on her finger, strike gymnastics out for six weeks then! Then Eve had came out in an impressive bout of chicken pox just before Dewi started his marathon weekend of nights that he does every week now.... step into the breach my mum who must have recognised the desperate lilt to my voice and kindly invited us for Sunday lunch!

I think that about sums it up - you know, I really do feel better and I am through the worst and on the up the other side, stronger, wiser, slightly greyer! were some magic moments in amongst the madness - quietly listening to midnight mass whilst walking with Idris in the darkness of my parent's house, reading the book 'Redeeming Love' by Francine Rivers, the baptism of our beautiful boy, and recognising how loved we are by family and friends alike.

Enjoying some good old fashioned toilet humour with Uncle John by re-telling a story from one of the Oxford Reading Tree books!

My big brother with my little boy!